I'm posting this here because I can. And also because I'm too cheap to write a new blog. Yup, that's me. And people I don't know at school have quoted this. THAT'S RIGHT, ME THE SOCIALLY RETARDED ONE -salutes-

 

WHAT COLOUR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
They're supersonic, radioactive, mircowaved underwear. If I look at them to tell you what colour they are, my eyes will explode and it will cause a current of nuclear winds. Now you look at them and tell me what colour they are, HUH PUNK?

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Why do you care. If you must know, Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones. HEY HO, LET'S GO!

ARE YOUR LEGS CROSSED?
What the hell kind of question is that. Hell no my legs arn't crossed. What the shit. This quiz is ignorant.

HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
Cloudy, like your sense of judgement.

LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Erm... I think it was... -thinks- Mums friend. Nerida and Nadia. That's right. Yes, no one cool. I am a loser.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
HOLY SHIT, That guy has wings!

DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS QUIZ?
No I hate him to hell (just joking) I do however, hate his slow internet connection when he is trying to send me songs.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
I killed your parents. And enjoyed it.

FAVOURITE DRINK?
Turpentine with a Rusty Knife in it.

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Pure ethanol. I'm so tough.

FAVOURITE SPORT?
Not participating.

HAIR COLOR?
Brown. No wait, I don't have hair. I'm a cheemo.

EYE COLOUR?
Usually blue, but they change colour. They go red when I use my laser eye beams.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I have twenty twenty vision you moron. Do I LOOK like I need contacts? NO. Fuck off.

SIBLINGS?
One monkey, aged nine.

FAVOURITE FOOD?
Some type of vegetable.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED AT THE MOVIES?
V for Vendetta. And it shit all over that stupid 'Cry Wolf' thing too.

FAVOURITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
The day people stop sending me shitty quizes that I do when I'm on the brink of insanity.

SATURDAY OR SUNDAY?
Was that even a question. You might as well be asking me "What day could I rape you?" But assuming you mean which I prefer, I say Saturday, when I don't have to work.

ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
No. Why the hell would I be. It's not like I'm going to be eaten. What's the worst that can happen? They say no. Oh boo hoo.

DO YOU LIKE MARMITE?
Vegemite taste better, dweeb.

SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter, I can not dress like a whore and not melt.

HUGS OR KISSES?
I say a warm gun.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate contains more sugar. Sugar makes me hypo, therefore, Chocolate.

DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
They better, or they'll find a piece of glass in all their pies.

WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
People who don't want to die.

WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
People who want to die, or are depressed.

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:
A house, my parents, a cat, a guniea pig and a monkey.

WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
1984 - George Orwell, Sophie's World - Some Author, Evil Genius - Catherine Kinks

DID YOU WAKE UP BEFORE YOUR ALARM WENT OFF?
What Alarm? It's the holidays you idiot.

FAVE SMELL?
The smell of the music shop.

BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
Pop corn with sugar on it. It's because I'm a french wench you feck.

FAVOURITE CRISPS?
Erm... A flavour I guess? I don't really like junk food that much.

FAVOURITE CARS:
Anything that I can drive, Porsche 911 and our old chum bucket four-wheel drive -tilts hat-

FAVOURITE FLOWERS? 
Roses. But not ugly ones. The suck. 

HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 
Two. Front Door, Back Door. 

CAN YOU JUGGLE?
Hell no, have you seen how un co-ordinated I am?

WHO'S YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH?
Sid Vicious. I want to have his babies. If he wasn't dead. And a murderer. And if his mind wasn't fried by drugs.

ARE YOU IN LOVE?
Do you take eftpos?

ANY LAST COMMENTS?
These things are USELESS. Now bow down to me and leave me a comment you cheap bastards.

Thank You and Goodnight™
Laura (Insert Random Fact Here)

 

Why MTV is creating a stupid stereotype for youth around the planet: Part Two.

 

Now, I have more than once, been reffered to as the ‘MTV Generation’

Now, I’m not sure this applies to me as I’d rather bury myself alive that do everything that damned TV station tells me too.

They tell us what’s ‘hawt’ and what’s not.  What if tomorrow, they announced that wearing your hats on your head, was NOT cool, and everyone in with it wore hats on their feet. How many people, do you think would do this? I’m not just talking about people listening to MTV anymore, it’s all these trends that people copy, for no reason. I mean no offence to anyone, but I’d never wear Ugg boots out in public. They’re just so… well, Uggly (I’m sorry, bad joke. Does anyone else realize I make really bad jokes at really inappropriate times?)

 

I’m not saying you have to be different. I’m not saying anything at all really. Just think before you do things. Are you doing this for yourself, or for someone else.

It applies to everything, really.

 

Now, I must inform you all that I am wearing a mega-cool hat. I got it from the linen cupboard (which is a fancy word for were we keep all of our crap)

 

Everytime you think of something sad, think of something happy to even it out again =)

 

Woot, I write really stupid blogs sometimes. Like this one. It makes no sense. I forgot what else I was going to right about MTV robbing us of our individuality. If you want to be individual, find a street corner and paint yourself in rainbow colours. But only one of you could do that, or It wouldn’t be individual anymore.

 

Now on a more personal note (If this dosen’t apply to you, then… just don’t read it)

 

To friends: I know I’ve been a little stupid and negligent these past few weeks. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking that doesn’t require talking to people. This does not mean I’ve gone emo okay, as many of you have pointed out. Just because I’m not racing around rolling around on the grass as usual it does not mean I’m depressed and disheartened. I am fine. I am good. ACTUALLY, I’m more than fine, I’m fantastic. So I’m sorry if I’ve mislead you all. I know I do have my angsty moments, but hey, who doesn’t?

 

You are all my angels. Thank you so much. =) You know who you are.

 

Thank You and Goodnight™

Laura (Who slept in until ELEVEN THIRTY this morning! Huzzah!)

 

MTV – The bane of all evil.

I’ll tell you right now, if you actually LIKE MTV, you could just start worshiping Satan. Right now.

 

I come home, it’s Saturday afternoon. I have just found out my parents have received a free trial of Foxtel somehow. So I turn on the boob tube, which I have neglected for the past months, apart from South Park and Mythbusters, and see what’s on television.

There’s a bunch of shitty reality TV shows, Hollywood block busters and point-black talk shows.

“Okay, daytime TV sucks” I think to myself.  So I then proceed to the music section of the TV. Amongst the country music stations and Club[V] (Which must be the most stupid fucking channel ever, apart from MTV of course) I see something. M.T.V.

 

The bane of all-evil. I turned it on and my eyes started spurting blood to the ceiling. This sucked because my mum is a neat freak.

 

No actually, that last part was a lie. Even though my mum does love things clean.

I think “Okay. MTV” (and keep my blood off the ceiling.)

 

MTV. Music Telivision? No. Is that not what it stands for morons? THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE A PIMP MY RIDE MARATHON ON FOR FOUR HOURS.

Now, I’ll start off by saying that the hell is Pimp My Ride. Whoever invented this show, thought it up ought to be SHOT. Okay, you want to see people ‘pimping’ rides (which dosen’t even make sense because in the short ten seconds of the show I saw before making an impossibly loud screeching noise and turning the TV off, No one has having sex with a vehicle. For any amount of money. I don’t blame the though.) You want to watch a freaking ride being pimped? I have an idea. Get off your fat ghetto ass and go to your local mechanic. That’s right, you can watch ‘ol Jimbo fix my fuel tank everyday you idiot. Now stop clogging up the television.

 

But no, THAT’S NOT ALL.

I remember about five years ago when I watched an MTV tape from way back. This was before MTV stopped playing Pearl Jam, so obviously, quite a while ago. I remember these three things… Pearl Jam (Haha, yes), Daria (A show which I happen to LOVE) and more music. Let me underline MUSIC. Not *music*

 

As far as I can tell, MTV play three types of music:

Pop/ Dance – I’m talking Ashlee whats-her-face-is-it-her-sister-and-the-girl-who-looks-like-Britanny-freaking-spears?-Less that electro-pop-synthesised-crap. How can this music be POPULAR. Now, for my, an example of pop is The Beatles. Great band, very POPULAR. See the word being popular. Now when was it that this pink bubble gum chewing, platinum blonde stereotype who can’t sing without lip-syncing became prominent? I’m sick of seeing this crap in such copious amounts. What the hell. No seriously. You can’t sing. Get off the stage, put down the mic, rip up the recording contract. The worst thing is that most of the ‘big’ record labels only sign this crap. Now as for dance. Oh man oh man OH MAN. Sometimes it’s not even SINGING. It’s just some slutty young adult whoring it away on the ‘dance floor’ wearing next to nothing. Not cool okay?

 

Rap and R&B – For the love of GOD. I’ve expressed my hate for this genre of music enough. Now not ALL rap is bad. Rap was originally using rhythm in words to produce syncopation. Many great bands managed to do this. I’ll name one for example…  the Beastie Boys (now, for someone who I will NOT mention because I’ll start vomiting rage who claims to like Rap and R&B, and is individual because no one in our group likes it, and had not heard of the Beastie Boys and I quote ‘SAY WHAT?’). Now they used the English language without butchering with the bullshit ghetto slang thing. I don’t even GET this. I can’t understand your stupid slang. Stop calling people who speak English Yuppies, and get over yourselves. Seriously. I’m sick of this ‘I’m so poor even thought I’m swimming in cash and whores from selling all my rap cd’s but the world is out to get me because I’m party black and apparently everyone discriminates against my race because I can’t speak anything but ghetto slang even though I can it’s just because I want to create another stereotype for Laura to make fun of damnit’ agenda every freaking ‘rap’ artist has created from themselves. It’s BULL SHIT. What you are creating isn’t Rap. It isn’t music. IT’S NOISE. BAD NOISE. PLEASE DIE IN A HOLE CHINGY, 50 CENT, SNOOP DIZZLE AND ALL YOUR LOVING GIRL PALLS.

 

I think I’ll calm down now.

 

And as for Rhythm and Blues. No. What the hell happened to Rhythm and Blues. I’ll show you what happened “DON’T YOU WISH YOUR GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME”
No, not Rhythm and Blues… Crap. You can’t sing. Die already.

 

Misbranded Genre Names – Okay, last time I checked (which was NOW) Punk was NOT about your girlfriend leaving you. Punk was not about being in love. Punk was about PISSING people off. Punk was about having an opinion. Punk, for the love of god, was not freaking Simple Plan. Just no. It’s not just Punk that gets misbranded, tons of other genres too. Which I can’t write about. I’m really tired and deluded.

 

I’ll do part two of this tomorrow. I’m tired.

 

Tomorrow: WHY MTV IS RAPING TODAY’S POPULAR TEENBOPPERY CULTURE?

Don’t like it – Don’t care!

 

Thank You and Goodnight™

Laura (Who needs some sleep)

In response to your comments:

Random Pajazo:  I talk shit? That thought has never occurred to me. When I open my mouth, words come out. Noise, sound whatever you may call it. It has never occurred to me that a steaming pile of feces emerges from my mouth. Woah!

 

Jaryd: No screw you. Your lies make baby Jesus cry. Wait, damn it. I am un-resigning. How dare you read my mind you… you… LOL. Yes, you heard me.

I’m sorry. You rock. I worship you.

 

Hannah: I got an A. Yes, suck on that Miss Botella who claims “I don’t put enough effort” into school. Damn you to heck.

And as if you could get sick of peanut butter. Ever.

 

Dee: By drastic, do you mean make cookies for me? Because if you do, go right ahead.

 

Adrian: Wooh! I get deemed by the blog master that my blogs are brilliant. HERE THAT EVERYONE, I’m going to quote him now.

“Brilliant.” – Adrian Snub

Just like how they do it in movie advertisements. =)

Talking about movies, what really annoys me is when in a FANTASTIC movie, they just put things in to make it Hollywood-likeable. Damn it, who CARES if there isn’t a blade/matrix worthy special effects to the maxxorxx fight scene in every gosh darn movie. I certainly don’t. For instance, V for Vendetta, a kick ass movie, so kickass infact that the morals behind the story are even better than seeing half the people at school fall onto each other like dominos, has been flawed by the STUPID fight scene. Okay, not every movie needs a x.x.hard.kore.x.x slow motion fight seen… See, Nadia, who I am now going to mention, is not going to put ANY special effects in her newest productions “Not another Hilary Duff Movie” and “Suddenly… Old and Ugly!” This is why I am paying her the sum of a million quazo’s. Yes. One million.

 

 

In other news, I officially un blog-icide. This dosen’t mean I will be obsessively updating though. I don’t have time. I update for your entertainment values, not mine.

 

Now, I’d like to advertise the most awesome forum in history. This forum is Left Wing Asylum (http://leftwingasylum.deliri.com/forum/index.php) and was stated by Jaryd’s face who is more awesome than even I. HE’S SO X.X.HARD.KORE.X.X HE MAKES ME LOL... Although most people there tend to hate me, and call me a x.x.hard.kore.x.x emo (no, not really, only one) I’ll eat your parents offspring if you DON’T join (yes, that means you… For both threats.)

 

EDIT: That makes two people on the world’s awesomest forum who think I’m totally stupid. YAY. I CAN COUNT.

 

EDIT AGAIN: But they’re just dumb fucks. If a few people weren’t so conceited, it would be perfect. But it’s not their fault they can’t match up to Jaryd’s awesomeness.

 

Today I went to Redneck Plaza, and a girl in a really short shirt and bikini thingo did the ‘Whatever’ sign to me. That REALLY put me back in my place. How dare I dress in three quarter pants and an actual T-shirt… And shoes! Oh my god, I was wearing shoes and a stripy scarf. How dare I! Man, I am so bad. I’m such a rebel. See, look I have a copy of a book called ‘How NOT to look like a whore’ GOD. HOW MUCH OF A REBEL AM I.

 

I think I just exploded from sarcasm overload. Sarcasm hates me you see. It was out to get me from day one. Some of my friends (namely Dee) are so sarcastic, I can’t tell when they are being serious, it’s really bad.

 

THIS ENTRY IS RATED I FOR IDIOTIC AND USELESS CONTENT.

 

I should probably have written that at the beginning instead of scarring little children. Oh well, it’s life. Get over it.

 

I’m easing into this. So give me a break.

 

Thank You and Goodnight™

Laura (Who is currently thinking about NOT posting this lame excuse for a blog.)